1.      Comfy clothes and shoes- Doulas work long hard hours. We stay with you for the duration of your labor, whether it is 4 hours or 40 hours. We get into uncomfortable positions to help get you more comfortable. We squat, stand, bend over, and are on our feet a lot. Comfy clothes and shoes to wear to a labor are an absolute must. Seasoned doulas know sweatpants and sneakers go a long way to keeping your doula comfy. A comfortable doula is more focusing on helping you have your best birth.  

2.      Taking off comfy clothes- Just as wonderful as it is to wear said comfy clothes, I love coming home from a birth and ripping off my shoes and bra, and collapsing on my bed. There's nothing like it after a long birth.

3.      A long hot shower- No matter how quick or long and difficult the birth was, a long hot shower after coming home from a birth always makes me feel refreshed. Especially if the birth was long, I feel so grimy and love to wash my hair and brush my teeth before passing out in bed.

4.      Food! Your doula probably made sure that you ate before heading to the hospital, and she knows it's just as important for her to eat too. I try to eat something before heading to a birth- I never know how long I will be gone! Snacks in my doula bag are also essential. A granola bar at 4am can sometimes be a life-saver when I'm hitting a wall.

5.      A long nap- After coming home from a long birth,  I usually pick up food on the way home, scarf it down when I walk in the door, peel off my clothes, and then I nap. A long luxurious nap is often needed to reset my sleep-wake cycle if I've been up all hours of the night with parents. If I could have nothing else after a birth, a nap would be my first priority.

6.      Loving family members- Doula work is demanding on families. If often entails wife or mom to be gone for long stretches of time, with no idea when she will return. Coming home to a husband or partner who is supportive of doula work and values what we are doing is priceless. A little wine and chocolate waiting for us never hurts either ;)

7.      Water- When I'm at a birth I try to remember to bring a water bottle with me, but sometimes I forget. It seems the nurse is always very good at making sure the laboring mama has plenty of water, but sometimes the support people get left out of that. When the nurse does ask the partner and I if we want some water, I always enthusiastically say 'yes please!' Even though staying hydrated is such a simple thing, it can really help me stay energized and on top of my doula game. And we're constantly reminding that laboring mama to drink, so it's great if we are treating our own need for hydration just as important.

Being a doula is a gift. We get to bear witness to magnificent love and strength, and we get to watch it unfold. Doula work takes a lot of time, experience, education, and commitment to our clients. But the payoff is so worth it. What other job:

Develops relationships deep as the ocean...

            The relationship which develops during pregnancy, between the doula, the mother, and her partner is indescribable. Often the late-night phone calls between the doula and mother, easing the qualms of late pregnancy, plant the seed for relationships which do not end once the baby is born. Oftentimes, life-long friendships develop, and we relish the opportunity to watch these babies grow. Every holiday season, doulas the world over find holiday cards awash with babies (baby's?) pictures, inside their mailboxes. These pictures always make us stop and remember that particular mother's story, and that special baby. Especially if we've been doing doula work for a long time, maybe we won't remember the particular details of that birth, but we will remember and (an) emotion, a feeling. Was it an ecstatic quick birth, or a long drawn-out birth that took everything the mother had? No matter what kind of birth it was, that baby on the postcard, smiling back at us reminds us why we do this work.

Witnesses Mountainous Strength...

            The doula is an objective observer. She sees all. She is there to remind the mother after all is said and done, that she did it! And no matter how difficult, scary, or long a mother's labor is, she will come out the other side. Oftentimes she will surprise herself, and those around her. In these times, she might not really remember how she pushed past the intensity, how she fully and completely let her body and her intuitions take over. The doula gets to witness this all, and as many times as we have seen it, it never ever gets old, and we never take it for granted.

Gently Helps Guide... 

            The relationship between a mother and her doula often overlaps into areas outside of matters relating to the pregnancy. The doula is there when the mother needs to vent about her marital issues, or her fears about how her older children will adjust to a new baby. The doula holds her client's concerns in her heart, and she acts as a gentle guide, always encouraging the mother to listen to her own heart and intuition to find resolutions her to concerns. Sometimes the doula's client just needs empathy and validation for all of her feelings, and sometimes she needs to be given the right evidence-based information with which to make a decision which is right for her.

Complements the Complexity of Relationships...

            The birth room is a sacred place, and the relationship between the mother and partner is sacred as well. When the couple invites their doula into their space, she honors that gift by watching how the couple interacts, and never ever takes the place of the partner. Maybe there is another friend or family member who is the mother's main support person. No matter who is present in the birth room, the doula helps everyone. She acts as glue, to solidify the relationships which are already there. She will meet the other support people wherever they are, and help them be more involved if they want to be. Or, if the intensity of the room is too much for some of the support people there, she will step in and gently take their place, while showing or suggesting other ways they can be useful.

Doula work is complex and intimate, and her role in your birth will be just as unique as you are. But no matter the roles your doula takes on, she will help you tell your best birth story.

In what ways did your doula help you have a better birth experience?

As doulas we are honored with getting to know new families and watching them grow. We get to learn what they want and expect out of their births, and how they hope to achieve those goals. We get to know what their fears may be, we get to educate and inform them about anything they may be pondering. In a nutshell, we thrive on providing educational and emotional support before, during and after the birth, as well as physical support during labor.

Now back to the after part, that precious postpartum time. We meet with new families in their homes to reconnect after the labor that we all had a chance to experience together, once or twice, sometimes more if needed. Occasionally the connection remains well beyond that initial postpartum time, and especially now with social media, that has become an easier and easier reality. Not much delights me more than receiving a call from a past client asking if we could meet for coffee or a walk through the park, maybe even an invitation to their little ones first birthday. To all of you who I had the pleasure of serving in the past, and to those that will come my way in the future, I treasure you, each and every one. ~Kim

Beginning in October, 2013, the Chico Doula Circle will be meeting on the 1st Thursday of each month at 7:00pm and the 3rd Sunday of each month at 2:00pm. We will meet at our usual location- La Casita Primera Preschool, 2035 Esplanade, Chico, CA.
As always, these meetings are open to any expecting parents who are curious about doula care, or who just want to hang out with some doulas, get your questions answered, and meet new friends.
For a current listing of our upcoming meetings' topics, visit our Chico Doula Circle events page on facebook.
Hope to see you there!!!

Amber, Kim, Sorrell and I celebrated the 1 year milestone of Chico Doula Circle with a few of our clients last night.  All those present wrote down memories and feelings, threw them in a bucket, and then took turns reading them out loud.  The following are some samples of comments from parents and us the doulas:

"Took his temperature 20 times a day for the first week"

"I love seeing new parents faces when they first meet their baby"

"I did not know a 1-day old could pee so far"

"I love getting a phone call very early or very late.  I know my phone only rings at that time for one reason"

"Didn't know I could love my husband more, but I do"

"One of my favorite parts of working as a doula is witnessing the reactions of the family and parents when the baby fully emerges into the world"

"Projectile vomit baby 80% of the time"

"I attended three births in 36 hours"

"Was practically naked throughout my birth"

"It was super awesome having a Doula at the birth because, someone with first hand experience was a great asset"

"So enjoy meeting new people and take delight in all of our Chico Doula Circle clients"

"I never thought I would spend so much time examining and talking about poop"

"I love when a woman is starting labor and the initial excitement that happens~all fear seems to melt away in those beginning moments"

"I will never forget the totally new yet absolutely familiar feeling of his shoulders, body and legs sliding out"

"My sister nick-named him the beast because he will cluster feed for three hours"

Three of our beautiful clients and their awesome babies.  Thank you for celebrating the evening with us!


~Anne