Doula Sorrell (on left) with a happy mama, papa, and babe Being a doula is a gift. We get to bear witness to magnificent love and strength, and we get to watch it unfold. Doula work takes a lot of time, experience, education, and commitment to our clients. But the payoff is so worth it. What other job:
Develops relationships deep as the ocean...
The relationship which develops during pregnancy, between the doula, the mother, and her partner is indescribable. Often the late-night phone calls between the doula and mother, easing the qualms of late pregnancy, plant the seed for relationships which do not end once the baby is born. Oftentimes, life-long friendships develop, and we relish the opportunity to watch these babies grow. Every holiday season, doulas the world over find holiday cards awash with babies (baby's?) pictures, inside their mailboxes. These pictures always make us stop and remember that particular mother's story, and that special baby. Especially if we've been doing doula work for a long time, maybe we won't remember the particular details of that birth, but we will remember and (an) emotion, a feeling. Was it an ecstatic quick birth, or a long drawn-out birth that took everything the mother had? No matter what kind of birth it was, that baby on the postcard, smiling back at us reminds us why we do this work.
Witnesses Mountainous Strength...
The doula is an objective observer. She sees all. She is there to remind the mother after all is said and done, that she did it! And no matter how difficult, scary, or long a mother's labor is, she will come out the other side. Oftentimes she will surprise herself, and those around her. In these times, she might not really remember how she pushed past the intensity, how she fully and completely let her body and her intuitions take over. The doula gets to witness this all, and as many times as we have seen it, it never ever gets old, and we never take it for granted.
Gently Helps Guide...
The relationship between a mother and her doula often overlaps into areas outside of matters relating to the pregnancy. The doula is there when the mother needs to vent about her marital issues, or her fears about how her older children will adjust to a new baby. The doula holds her client's concerns in her heart, and she acts as a gentle guide, always encouraging the mother to listen to her own heart and intuition to find resolutions her to concerns. Sometimes the doula's client just needs empathy and validation for all of her feelings, and sometimes she needs to be given the right evidence-based information with which to make a decision which is right for her.
Complements the Complexity of Relationships...
The birth room is a sacred place, and the relationship between the mother and partner is sacred as well. When the couple invites their doula into their space, she honors that gift by watching how the couple interacts, and never ever takes the place of the partner. Maybe there is another friend or family member who is the mother's main support person. No matter who is present in the birth room, the doula helps everyone. She acts as glue, to solidify the relationships which are already there. She will meet the other support people wherever they are, and help them be more involved if they want to be. Or, if the intensity of the room is too much for some of the support people there, she will step in and gently take their place, while showing or suggesting other ways they can be useful.
Doula work is complex and intimate, and her role in your birth will be just as unique as you are. But no matter the roles your doula takes on, she will help you tell your best birth story.
In what ways did your doula help you have a better birth experience?
Develops relationships deep as the ocean...
The relationship which develops during pregnancy, between the doula, the mother, and her partner is indescribable. Often the late-night phone calls between the doula and mother, easing the qualms of late pregnancy, plant the seed for relationships which do not end once the baby is born. Oftentimes, life-long friendships develop, and we relish the opportunity to watch these babies grow. Every holiday season, doulas the world over find holiday cards awash with babies (baby's?) pictures, inside their mailboxes. These pictures always make us stop and remember that particular mother's story, and that special baby. Especially if we've been doing doula work for a long time, maybe we won't remember the particular details of that birth, but we will remember and (an) emotion, a feeling. Was it an ecstatic quick birth, or a long drawn-out birth that took everything the mother had? No matter what kind of birth it was, that baby on the postcard, smiling back at us reminds us why we do this work.
Witnesses Mountainous Strength...
The doula is an objective observer. She sees all. She is there to remind the mother after all is said and done, that she did it! And no matter how difficult, scary, or long a mother's labor is, she will come out the other side. Oftentimes she will surprise herself, and those around her. In these times, she might not really remember how she pushed past the intensity, how she fully and completely let her body and her intuitions take over. The doula gets to witness this all, and as many times as we have seen it, it never ever gets old, and we never take it for granted.
Gently Helps Guide...
The relationship between a mother and her doula often overlaps into areas outside of matters relating to the pregnancy. The doula is there when the mother needs to vent about her marital issues, or her fears about how her older children will adjust to a new baby. The doula holds her client's concerns in her heart, and she acts as a gentle guide, always encouraging the mother to listen to her own heart and intuition to find resolutions her to concerns. Sometimes the doula's client just needs empathy and validation for all of her feelings, and sometimes she needs to be given the right evidence-based information with which to make a decision which is right for her.
Complements the Complexity of Relationships...
The birth room is a sacred place, and the relationship between the mother and partner is sacred as well. When the couple invites their doula into their space, she honors that gift by watching how the couple interacts, and never ever takes the place of the partner. Maybe there is another friend or family member who is the mother's main support person. No matter who is present in the birth room, the doula helps everyone. She acts as glue, to solidify the relationships which are already there. She will meet the other support people wherever they are, and help them be more involved if they want to be. Or, if the intensity of the room is too much for some of the support people there, she will step in and gently take their place, while showing or suggesting other ways they can be useful.
Doula work is complex and intimate, and her role in your birth will be just as unique as you are. But no matter the roles your doula takes on, she will help you tell your best birth story.
In what ways did your doula help you have a better birth experience?
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