Under creative commons by *_Abhi_* Maybe this has happened to you- you're walking down the street, already feeling so pregnant when a stranger chimes in to give you such helpful comments as "Wow, you're big" or "Are you carrying twins?" Hopefully you were able to just smile and not engage further. Because, yes, you are already aware of how big you are, and, no, you are not carrying twins. Or maybe it's the opposite situation where your belly doesn't look that big and people comment on how small you look. Comments like these do nothing but instill doubt that are going about your pregnancy in a healthy way. Why is it that people feel the need to comment on your appearance when you're pregnant? There are not many other instances in life where people so unabashedly give their opinion to you. But if you are pregnant, it seems there's no shortage of comments and stories that surround you. It can be hard to know how to react to some of these comments and not take them personally. But surrounding yourself with loving, supportive people that reassure you that you are doing everything right is paramount. Having a supportive care provider who is also willing to take the time to listen to your concerns can go far in appeasing any thoughts that might be provoked by these comments.
Birth stories are another area where, if you are pregnant, people often feel the need to share their opinions and ideas. Sometimes, this is wonderful. The sharing of tales and experiences is an ancient tradition and it is often how we develop deep relationships with each other. But, these stories are not always what you should be listening to as you prepare for the birth of your child. Sometimes, women and families are still processing their own birth experience. The act of talking about what they went through can be therapeutic for them, but an anxious first time mom is not the right audience for their harrowing tale. Have you noticed that many of the stories about birth that women tell are scary? We don't often hear the stories of awesome, rock-star, empowering births. This is not because the scary stories are the only ones out there- rather it is because the women who had a hard time are often more vocal than the ones who had a joyful birth.
Our words are so powerful, even a slight shift in our mindset can be powerful. When we reframe how we think of birth, the results can be huge. What you feel during childbirth is part of a normal physiological process. Maybe try to frame your mind that your contractions will be intense, strong, wavelike, but not necessarily painful. There are women out there that will say they have experienced a pain-free birth. Ask them what their secret was, and they will all most likely reply that they had an open mind that it was possible. Our physical sensations are intricately connected to our thoughts. Start to notice the words that are being said around you and your upcoming birth. Are there certain people that always seem to have something negative to say, even if they are not conscious they are doing this?
How have you dealt with negative words during your pregnancy and birth? Did you find words to have an impact on your experience of giving birth?
Birth stories are another area where, if you are pregnant, people often feel the need to share their opinions and ideas. Sometimes, this is wonderful. The sharing of tales and experiences is an ancient tradition and it is often how we develop deep relationships with each other. But, these stories are not always what you should be listening to as you prepare for the birth of your child. Sometimes, women and families are still processing their own birth experience. The act of talking about what they went through can be therapeutic for them, but an anxious first time mom is not the right audience for their harrowing tale. Have you noticed that many of the stories about birth that women tell are scary? We don't often hear the stories of awesome, rock-star, empowering births. This is not because the scary stories are the only ones out there- rather it is because the women who had a hard time are often more vocal than the ones who had a joyful birth.
Our words are so powerful, even a slight shift in our mindset can be powerful. When we reframe how we think of birth, the results can be huge. What you feel during childbirth is part of a normal physiological process. Maybe try to frame your mind that your contractions will be intense, strong, wavelike, but not necessarily painful. There are women out there that will say they have experienced a pain-free birth. Ask them what their secret was, and they will all most likely reply that they had an open mind that it was possible. Our physical sensations are intricately connected to our thoughts. Start to notice the words that are being said around you and your upcoming birth. Are there certain people that always seem to have something negative to say, even if they are not conscious they are doing this?
How have you dealt with negative words during your pregnancy and birth? Did you find words to have an impact on your experience of giving birth?
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